WilcosWorld

By Adam Wilcox

Adam Wilcox; tea drinking Brit with fondness for the media and tech.
09 Dec 05

Not Amused

A few months ago I was looking around WHSmiths, at those books you only get at Christmas- "A History of Poo", "Willy Jokes for Morons and BNP Supporters", and I was thinking about a book that I could produce that could fit right in. Anyway, I came up with the idea of "Things You Should Never Say To The Queen", and I present to you just a few of the suggestions by such masters of the comic idiocies as Mr Thomas Moore, Mr Alex Watts, Mr James Moore, and Mr my good self.

  • I think your using the wrong fork
  • How's the anus?
  • So, what's your opinion on the Euro?
  • I've got some crown jewels you might like to take a look at
  • I say "Down with the bourgeoisie", how about you?
  • I've been studying the French Revolution, I was wondering if you would help me with a demonstration of what happened to the monarchy?
  • Go on, do Bohemian Rhapsody
  • Hey you look a bit like that old bird they put on coins!
  • Who does this dead dog belong to?
  • What do you do with the other hand when you're waving?
  • I just heard this hilarious Princess Diana joke
  • Haven't Labour got rid of you lot yet?
  • S'cus me, your maj. Could I use the throne?
  • This soup looks like the royal wee!
  • Wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup?
  • Cheer up you miserable cow, I'm not Edward!
  • Is this a Sceptre I see before me, or are you just please to see me?
  • No dear, it's "I". "I am not amused"